Nightwing: The hero he used to be
by driven-minds
Summary: Everyone failed to realize there was someone else that was hurting more than her. Only Aqualad and Connor saw Nightwing's ashen face as he turned his face away from the painful scene that was staring right at his face. The once strong man, was torn apart by the recent events that occurred. He was broken glass. Still shimmering in views of most, but slowly cracking over time.
1. Chapter 1

All he felt was numbness. It was not due to the harsh, cold wind blowing through his black, silky fringe. He could feel a million pricks on his hands as he balled them into fists. The sound of his leather gloves wrinkling up was the only thing he could hear. Everything was muffled in his ears as he stared blankly at the snow a few steps before him. Cold and emptiness was all he felt.

Grayson was too busy realizing what he had happened. He could not take the view of the blonde dressed in green, knees on the floor, hands buried her face. Her weeps of pain broke Grayson on a whole new level he did not know existed. M'gann was on the snow beside her, providing comfort for the shattered girl. Everyone else that was there was just providing sympathy for Artemis. Everyone's faces were full of pain and sorrow.

Everyone failed to realize there was someone else that was hurting more than her. Only Aqualad and Connor saw Nightwing's ashen face as he turned his face away from the painful scene that was staring right at his face. The once strong man, was torn apart by the recent events that occurred. He was broken glass. Still shimmering in views of most, but slowly cracking over time.

He barely realized that his team member had placed an assuring hand on his shoulders; in an attempt to coax him out of his painful trance. He felt his blood go cold at the mention of his name.

"Nightwing?" Aqualad softly mentioned when he realized the 18-year-old go frozen in his spot. Aqualad could only turn his head back to Connor in worry when Dick failed to react.

Nightwing white slates of hid domino mask closed slightly as he furrowed his brows in pain and anger. Anger at was at himself.

Grayson was not supposed to show any emotions during a mission. He was not supposed to be left speechless. He was supposed to show a brave front for his team. Nightwing was supposed better than that.

Or was he?

Was he really the hero he wanted himself to become? When he could not even protect the closest people he so dearly loved, from harm? When all he felt was how broken his heart was. The person he so dearly trusted and cared for. The one that stayed by his side when he made tough decisions. When Bruce turned his back. When he was facing hardships. When he was happy. He was always there.

And yet, his body was not even there for him to mourn. Not a single hint that the ginger speedster was there except the circular tracks that lay embedded on the milky-white snow.

Wally West was gone.

His best friend was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

The fate of the world was sealed shut in its barrier of glass once again. Saved by the world's own heroes. This time it was the protégés that did the saving, not the league. Everything was back to the way it should be. Aqualad and Artemis was back on the team and the just league members are back on Earth.

Everyone was there. He should feel happy, right? They saved the world. He managed to save everyone. Everyone but Wally. Should be feel happy? Moral ethics to sacrifice one for the better of others?

" _You almost lost your life out there. What the hell were you thinking?"_

" _You're Robin! The wonder boy! The original and first sidekick!"_

" _Dick, you should have let me follow you on the mission. I know your backstory. I would understand more than they do."_

" _Sweet! You got me the new Deadlight game that has yet to come out in another month? Oh, man what a good thing I have a super-rich best friend"_

" _I don't care about the damn souvenirs! You almost died when the mountain blew up."_

Memories were stabbing him right in the heart as he stood there, zoning out for a few seconds.

"Nightwing, now is not the time to resign," Kaldur mentioned softly as he walk alongside Nightwing at the Watchtower, who was lost in the thought of Wally.

"I'm not resigning. I'm just taking a leave-of-absence."

Nightwing continued, "I need a break Kaldur. You, me, Wally we… we founded this team. Without him,"

Kaldur understood the message Dick was sending in his direction. He could feel pain emanating from the ex-boy wonder. While Kaldur himself was devastated by the loss of one of his companion, he did not have the close-knit relationship that Dick had with Wally. The two boys were like paper and glue. They knew each other way before Aqualad was introduced to both, including Roy Harper. He knew that Dick lost a brother. As much as he would like to have Nightwing continue to mentor and lead the group, he knew the teen needed time away to gather back his thoughts.

With a sigh, Kaldur replied," I understand".

As Nightwing leaned his body weight on the Watchtower, he carefully observed the scene a distance away. Kaldur was already taking leadership of the Young Justice team after the Justice League had left the main foyer. Nightwing could make out the words from Kaldur's mouth about finding the next plan from Lexcorp and The Reach. Dick huffed at himself, wondering when the team would find out that Dick had decided to leave the team. Will they be happy that he left? After his decisions during the war, he would guess the answer to be a yes.

He murmured to himself, _business as usual._

With a deep breath, he removed his weight from the wall and pushed himself upright. He carefully made his way to the zeta beams, in hope that his leave would not disturb the meeting that was carried out. He turned his back and made his way. Away from the Watchtower.

He had already decided that he was not going to come back to this floating meteorite for a long time. All he was tired. Tired from fighting a fight that he was so close to losing. Tired of the constant need to show strength and confidence in the face of hardship. While the rest of the Justice League was away, including Batman, he was burdened with many responsibilities on his shoulders. He had to juggle maintaining the crime rate in Bludhaven, putting on the mask as Batman in Gotham and trying so fruitfully to preclude the earth from being destroyed by Vandal Savage.

A combination of masks. His Nightwing mask and Batman's cowl was running him down. He didn't know why, but ever since the end of the battle, he didn't feel victorious. It made everything muscle of him to tense up every time he remembered the events that transpired. All the winnings, but he still felt like he lost. His mouth felt stale and it felt like his senses were dialed down to a zero. He couldn't connect to the world again like he used to. Cracking like glass, if he could explain what he felt like at the current moment. Like he could fall to the ground at any time from being tired. Tired for everything that the world threw at him.

If the whole invasion had spooked Nightwing to his core, then the world was telling him that he probably didn't belong in this field of work.

He was just one foot into the zeta tube, getting ready to feel the pins and needle sensation from teleporting when he heard a gruff noise from the direction of the team.

"What make you think you can leave? We have yet to say a word to you and your actions," the angered voice of Super boy resonated throughout the whole Watchtower.

Wincing slightly, Nightwing removed his right foot from the purple tube and made a 180 degree turn to face the team. His muscles tensed up from the hostility coming from Superboy's remark.

At this point of time, he detected the hostility of not only Superboy, but the rest of the team. After all, it was pretty much obvious, considering that every single of their faces was showing disapproval and anger.

Folding his arms, Nightwing approached the team. Taking stride, knowing what they wanted to say. How his plan had sucked. How he was a traitor.

"He's a bloody traitor."

"He couldn't even have the courtesy to tell us about his plans. Because he couldn't trust us enough, wasn't it?" Lagoon Boy's voice was the first to cut through the painful silence after Nightwing had approached them.

Nightwing smirked slightly and let it fall as fast as it appeared. He was right. It was as if Lagoon Boy could know what he was thinking. Nightwing wondered why that wasn't probably the case, because the way Lagoon Boy was staring at him, it was shooting straight through his body.

Robin didn't fail to notice the smirk. Interpreting it the wrong way, his anger surged and boiled in this chest at his older brother.

"Let's get this straight to the point," Tim Drake snapped.

"Nightwing, we don't want you in this team anymore."

Nightwing felt his blood go cold. He expected the words to come out of Lagoon Boy's mouth, even Blue Beetle. But what he didn't expect was to hear it out of Robin's own mouth. He expected the boy to understand, but apparently, he didn't. Of all people, he would expect Tim to side his brother. But then again, he should stop expecting. Why would anyone help him anyways?

"Robin, stand down. This is not your call to make." Kaldur carefully chose his words to not make the situation worse off than it was.

"OH COME ON. We have the right to decide who gets to stay in the team or not," Blue Beetle chimed in.

"He betrayed us. He lied to us."

"He didn't lie to you." Artemis snapped back to the blue individual.

"Even so, he didn't even THINK to tell us the truth. He hid it from us. And that makes it all okay?" Superboy chimed in.

"He made Kaldur lose his mind when M'gann attacked him. We almost killed Kaldur. He made the plan to fucking kill Artemis. We were mourning for that loss,"

Frustrated, Artemis voiced out "He did so to save the planet. Wasn't that all that matters? Anyways why is this all his fault? Kaldur and I were in the secret as well. Why aren't you blaming us too?"

At this point, Nightwing had barely said anything. Nobody allowed him to have a word, to explain everything and how sorry he was for deciding to carry out the plan. But he knew, the team did not want to listen to reason. They did not want to listen to his apologies. They just wanted him gone. To vent all their anger on the poor boy. And yet, nobody seems to notice when his eyes were starting to get foggy from tears. Stupid mask. At least they couldn't see his eyes that were full of pain and misery. And yet, the mask makes him seem more robot than human.

Arguments were sparked between Artemis and Kaldur, against the rest of the group. A few souls like M'gann and Wonder girl stood at the sidelines, not knowing if they should lend a voice in the argument. Dick was slightly touched that both Artemis and Kaldur was protecting him from the onslaught of criticism. But the heartache from the words of his team just broke him to the core. He had enough.

"ENOUGH."

"So you all want me out? Is that it?"

Everyone's heads were bobbing up and down. That sight alone had Nightwing's legs go weak.

"Fine, you all wanted this. I…"

"Nightwing, maybe we should…" Kaldur interrupted.

Nightwing knew what he wanted to suggest. He wanted to explain to the team that Dick had already planned to take a break from the team. Maybe the team could be more inclined to accept him back if he was the one that wanted to leave, willingly. It was better than being forcefully banned from the team. But no, Nightwing did not want that. He just wanted him to make their own decisions.

"No, Kaldur. Let them have their choice."

"If that is the whole teams' choice, then I, Nightwing, officially resign from the Young Justice Team. I leave leadership back to Aqualad and Batgirl will follow under his shadow."

With that statement, he turned around and with his back facing the team, he strode off. Not wanting to face back the relieved faces of the team, nor the sighs of relief coming from their mouths either. Typing in the coordinates in the zeta tube, he wished goodbye to the rancid place of a Watchtower and watched it disappear from his line of sight as he was teleported. A heavy heart and an anchored soul was what he would describe himself right now. Oh, and a multitude of pain. Worse than what he felt after Joker had beaten him to death or when Psimon was torturing him mentally.

The Watchtower was left with no sound. Not even a whisper of the wind.

"I hope you all are happy with your decision. Don't fucking regret it. Be happy for all you want, but this all will catch up to all of you soon. "

With that, Artemis stormed out of the main foyer, fuming mad.

In Robin's heart and mind, he wondered to himself, _did he really make the right decision?_


	3. Chapter 3

When he left the Watchtower, he subconsciously typed in the coordinates for the Batcave. And now there he was, blankly staring around the damp, dark cave, feeling like a total stranger in the place. It had been awhile since he had been back in the cave. He would have never come back to the cave but the world was constantly out to get him, it seems. He had already been living in a small apartment in the outskirts of Bludhaven and even gotten a job as a police officer in that city. Heck, Nightwing had already blossomed a relationship with the police department since he was helping them clean out the streets of evil-doers. However, he had to force himself to come back to the Batcave to take his role as Batman while Bruce was off world.

 _Fuck the world._

Sighing softly, he made a beeline to one of the chairs situated near the series of large computers and electronic that laid around the cave. With his weak, trembling hands, he removed his black domino mask. He felt pure euphoria as he peeled away the sticky mask from the rims of his sullen eyes. Switching from Nightwing to Dick Grayson again. In a moment, the mask was carelessly flung to the table, barely clinging onto the table as half of it was dangling at the edge.

His body had gone past its limit, mentally. After the events that had occurred, he realized that his life was so repetitive. Night after night, he removed his domino mask from crime-fighting. At this lowest point of his life, he wondered why he was still doing this dig. He had ignored Bruce's words that 'this life will eat through the souls of the good.' Finally, through his breaking point, he agreed to it. It ruined everything good in his life. The life had mercilessly taken away his normal life at having friends, relationships and a family, from the poor boy. But what could he expect? The world treated him like he was the villain no matter how much good he made. They took his parents, and they took this current parent too, and now Wally?

Dick took a sharp intake of breath as buried his hands in his hair and leaned his elbows on the table. He closed his eyes as he was painfully reminded that Wally was still gone. The stillness and quiet in the air of the cave made him really comprehend that his best friend was still gone.

"You're in my chair", an ominous voice echoed throughout the cave.

Dick didn't need to swivel the chair around to see who's voice it was from. What he was confused about was why he failed to hear the sound of the zeta tube or even the rumble of the Batmobile. Was he so into his own thoughts that he failed to reconnect to the world?

Without moving in his original position, he returned an answer, "It wasn't your chair while you were off-world. I had to sit here and do your god-damn bloody work while you were gone."

No answer.

Dick huffed. Typical Bruce. Not one to say even a thank you for the work he had done for that bastard.

 _This silence is killing me with Bruce around,_ Dick thought to himself.

"I accidentally typed in the coordinates to the cave. You won't be seeing me in this place again in a long time."

Still no answer.

Angry, he placed weight back on his feet and stood up from the chair. Stretching his arms out, he turned around and walked away from the Bat computer. His eyes locked to the figure standing near him, but the man had not done the same. His eyes were focused somewhere else, anywhere else but the teen. Dick swallowed his saliva and walked past the man in the direction of the stairs leading back to the manor. He had brushed passed the man, and there was not even a slight indication that the man was giving notice that he was there.

Without turning around, he continued to walk towards the stairs. One foot up the stairs, Bruce talked once more.

"Why did you quit the team."

His hand tightened on the stair railing.

"That's the first thing you ask me after you haven't seen me in months? Are you fucking serious right now? Don't make me tell you why, I can see through your bullshit. You already know why."

"I have yet to hear the answer from you."

"GOD, Bruce! Wally died, is that not enough justification for you?"

"Everyone will suffer loss. You know it when Jason died."

Dick knew the hidden message. Bruce was disappointed by his eldest son. Ever since they had quarreled a year ago, their relationship was never mended. He has moved out of the manor after he finally had the last straw at Bruce.

His departure was not received well by Alfred nor Tim. The butler would continuously call almost every week to check on his supposedly 'grandson'. He even insisted for Dick to come back to live in the manor, or at least visit. However, he couldn't bring himself back to the manor when Bruce was around. Well, until he needed to put on the cowl for Batman during the whole time of the invasion. And he still felt like he didn't belong there.

"Don't bring Jason into this," Dick growled.

"I don't care if I seem weak in your face. I've never wanted to become who you are. Ever since the start of the invasion, my actions felt like I was shadowing yours. Ive been trying to protect the team the entire time and yet I still don't feel like ive won,"

"But you knew your actions were justified."

"Fuck off about it being justified! Wally wasn't part of the plan and yet we lost him."

"Losing a comrade does not mean you can quit you job. This job doesn't pay. You knew very well what you were dealing with when you decided to join this life. And now you want to quit?"

A pang of guilt bombarded him. He felt as if his heart could stop at any moment. Dick slumped slightly and he put his weight on the stair railing. His heart wanted to beat out of his chest and he felt his legs wobble slightly.

Bruce noticed a slight change in demeanor and stepped forward to help, however, a wave of Dick's hand made him stop.

Dick's voice was laced with venom as he spat, "Don't. Don't come near me".

Shaking off the feeling, he quickly paced up the stairs, wanting to place a good distance from his guardian. All he wanted was someone to understand. He wouldn't expect Bruce to understand, considering his emotionless personality. And yet, the blue-eyed boy only wished the man would comfort him.

As he walked away from the cave, his heart broke a little more, adding on to the many cracks that laced his heart. Little did he know that Tim Drake had been watching the entire time, behind the Batmobile.


End file.
